Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse & The Silence.

domestic violence

The scariest thing about domestic violence and sexual abuse is the silence, the silence can be deadly and when it’s not it can take a lifetime to heal. We know the statistics are horrific. We know.

But let’s recap on the statistics of violence against women, domestic violence and sexual abuse.

  • 25% of children have witnessed domestic violence, that’s 1.9 billion kids.
  • These kids are likely grow up to have a mental illness, are more likely to abuse others or become abused?
  • Did know that 41 people have died this year in Australia in violence against women.
  • 1 in 3 women have experienced sexual or physical abuse.
  • Most cases go undetected and not reported.

 

I have expressed my experience and the ripple effect of domestic violence, many times in my endeavour to create awareness around domestic violence and to be the voice for others when they are unable to utter a sound. Because I get it, I have been that mute.

In my abusive home growing up I could scream and yell an attempt to stop the rage, but the next day the silence always continued. When I found myself in my own abusive relationship I had with my own internal voice that was screaming, pleading for someone to hear, someone to look into my eyes and ask me the question, for the love of god ask me the fucking question because I cannot utter a sound.

I am mute, unable to speak.

The conversation in my head is saying, “I am a smart, intelligent woman who runs two businesses. Why can I not utter a sound?” I find it bewildering.

The pain, the angst and the fear leaves you silent and ashamed to the point where you are literally mute, unable to utter a word even if you wanted to.

Why didn’t you call the police? I honestly didn’t think too, I don’t know why. It seems obvious now, but at the time the fear consumes you and you can’t think straight, everything is distorted.

It’s like the dream you have when really want to speak, but you can’t and as much as you try to no words come out. It’s just like the dream, but it’s real life…

Now I am on the other side and I have my voice.

If one in three people are affected by physical or sexual abuse, that is 5 million Australian’s.

Clearly the silence continues, because they are very few people who talk about this.

This is for you, the people who are unable to speak. I do this for you.

I hear you; I see and feel your pain. It never goes unnoticed.

To the people who see someone, ask the question because with every inch of their soul they want to speak, but they cannot utter a word until you ask them the question.

 

“Come and sit down, talk to me, I see you’re not OK. I see the pain in your eyes and it’s not you. I know you feel alone, but you’re not. You don’t have to be.”

 

Ask the question.

  • Jacqueline

    Renee..so true…you just reminded me of what I wrote what seems like a lifetime ago..

    “There is nothing but fear and no-one to hear me. ……… and I turn to stone. And the screaming starts. Screaming that pierces my soul, and shatters every conscious train of thought. Screaming that consumes everything I am, everything I have, because I know I can never leave, that I am now part of hell. Screaming that never leaves my lips. That never shows the scars on my soul, that choke my heart. Screaming that has the power to take over thought, screaming that becomes so loud inside my head that finally, finally, it ends. And I descend into hell, for that is what it must be, because everything has stopped. Everything is black. There is nothing. And even more certain in the darkness, I know that I have gone. That no-one can hear me. That no-one, ever again, will know where I am. For this is where it ends. This is where he wins.”

    • WOW Jacqueline, that is powerful and I am so glad you was a lifetime ago. Did you write often when you were being abused?

      I did, a lot. It helped me tangibilize the pain and what I felt… if that makes sense and I would NEVER of called myself a writer back then.

      Thanks for sharing!

  • So powerful Renee, thank you for giving voice to this issue. Something has got to change!

    • Thanks Louisa, you know if one in three Australians have been affected by this, that equates to 8 million people… most of which are suffering in silence because it never goes away until you work through it. Scary thought.