This ache in my heart
This life I could see
Like I have lived it before.
Calling me in my dreams
White noise in the class
Big dreams in my heart
My mind a thousand miles away…
This spell I have been under my entire life.
No life other than the one in my dreams felt desirable,
Yet the one in my dreams seemed so far away
For someone of my class
My upbringing
Yet, they were more real the bruises on skin
And in the fear in my mind that I had everyday.
Praying I would make it through unscathed, not beaten or broken.
I didn’t know how
I couldn’t see the way
But what I did have were breadcrumbs
Little sparks of curiosity.
Always a showman
An actress
Playing a role
… Even when I didn’t have too
That is when I had to play one the most.
Underneath was an empty girl not really knowing who she was behind the dreams.
Not knowing whom she was when she wasn’t on the battlefield and not in the role of peacekeeper.
Wanting a job in an industry that told me who I had to be.
So I didn’t have to decide that for myself.
Ending up in an industry where I had no lifeline, no floating aids and free falling into the waters so deep they would keep me up at night for years.
Layers upon layers, shedding layers that I didn’t even know I had.
Turns out they didn’t even belong to me in the first place.
Snap.
Checkmate.
Come alive.
We all want to feel alive.
We all crave for the ache in our heart that cracks the fucking world open and you feel alive… and your skin and the love… the fucking love is pouring out of skin.
Once again we are free falling into the unknown depths of our soul and we are dreaming with our eyes open.
Wide open.
And not afraid to be who we are and explore who we are.
And be in an industry that support us in being ourselves.
Fully.
Openly.
Fiercely.
Lovingly.
And unconditionally.
That dream.
That spell I have been under my entire life…
The one that felt so unattainable.
Is this.
You
Me
Together
Living our dream and connecting on a level that is limitless and guiding others to live their dream.
