Let’s Talk About Sex… Part 3.

Let's Talk About Sex ... The Series (2)

Minding my own pleasure is as much for you as it for me.

“So much of our sex is stripped away from us and sold back to us in fragments,” AlphaMama said on my show.

So true.

In the journey with my sexuality it has really been about playing with the edges of what I think I like and dissolving what society deems as weird or wrong.

The next unfolding in my exploration to “arousal” really came down to three things-

Mutual Commitment.

I explored my own pleasure before I brought it into the union with my partner; he was a part of the conversation in my discoveries, however it was for me first. A journey I took with myself. This was a huge evolution in my people-pleasing role I had worn for so long.

We told each other what we liked, what we didn’t, and fantasies, desires that we haven’t really spoken to. All of it. We began a journey that unfolded naturally, the more we got to know our own pleasure the more we could transcend our sexual experiences together.

Speaking or guiding during sex doesn’t come easy for me, so we spoke about this and my partner picked up on certain queues, then we would speak openly about it later. Over time I have become more confident in speaking of what I wanted during, but it was something we I eased into.

We totally respected the non-negotiable’s I spoke about in my first post, about what we stopped doing and always adhere to that. (That’s not as easy as it sounds sometimes, especially when we just want to get one on the board to “reach the other side”!)

We are in it together and become dedicated to this sacred union.

Intentional Sex.

Now this is a little… complex, just for want of a better word. It has a few layers.

Sacred communion always.

Speaking to how we’re feeling in that moment.

What do I need right now? What am I craving?

Getting in tune with yourself here. We work with our archetypes, which I speak about in my course, but it can be as simple as this…

How are you feeling?

Gentle, restless, soft, expansive, angry, slutty, frigging horny or super in love?

Bring THAT to the table… or bed… or where ever you’re doing it.

Don’t change your state.

The most intimate exchanges and unions come from this!

Sexy doesn’t look any one way!!!

Set your intention for this exchange and surrender it, trust that whatever is meant to happen, will.

Exploring pain, pleasure and essentially the idea of dualism or polarity.

Now this I’ll talk about in the days to follow, because this is pandora’s box!

In yesterday’s post I spoke about; speaking to the universal one mind during pleasure, well this speaks to the Law of Polarity and non dualism, whereby we can feel two mutually exclusive things and begin to dissolve what our mind tells us it “should” be.

How do you like to be spoken to during sex? (subject to how you’re feeling in the moment)

What kind of things excites you, that feels “naughty”?

What primal instincts have you had in the past that took you by surprise?

Did you want to scratch their skin?

Bite their earlobe?

Squeeze their nipple?

Swear at them?

Speak words you wouldn’t usually say?

Put your hands around their throat or have them put their hands around yours? (Queue safe word and mutual consent here)

What happens when you inflict some pain on someone or them on you when you’re in these heighten states of arousal?

It’s pleasurable!!!  

What happens when we dissolve our perceptions around what is pain and what is pleasure?

What happens when we own all our desires?

What happens when you have no shame and can speak freely of your desires?


Who are you then? Who’s that person?


Unfriggingstoppable is who!



Let’s talk about sex, part one.

Let’s talk about sex, part two.


Part 4 in the Let’s talk about Sex Series!