This year I have seen the unraveling and birth of the polarities of life.
When your identity has been shattered in a way that I would never have imagined.
I let it ALL die.
Giving myself full-bodied permission to integrate into my multi dimension self.
Giving zero f*cks about what other people think and allowing myself to GO THERE.
Throwing myself deeply into discovering all of who I am when there is turmoil around me. Holding myself lovingly and fiercely throughout all of it.
Facing my shit and fully owning what is mine, and what is not.
Not avoiding any of it, dismantling ALL armour.
Seeing the parts of myself that cared what other people think.
Worrying about being too out there.
How much is “socially acceptable” before people clench their butt cheeks and start to squirm in their seats.
Allowing the thoughts of feeling intimidated by the cool kids melt away.
Smiling of my vulnerability when I read that post and wonder if they are referring to me.
Thinking that maybe this sabbatical is really self-sabotage and honouring that I am actually doing the work like I never have before.
Seeing the things in life where I give so much of myself and that it really doesn’t feel honouring or enjoyable, having the courage to let that go.
Smiling at the people who have begun to look at me sideways because they are unsure if I am the same person and if it disrupts their comfortability…. The answer is yes.
All this…
None of it matters.
Any person who believes we should be anywhere other than we are is on their own journey… and contrary to popular belief that isn’t a reflection of ourselves… or maybe it is and that is up to us and us alone to determine.
Us even taking on what is happening around us without taking the time to be completely connected to own soul is a dishonouring of self.
I know where I am at.
I am doing things that I would NEVER have imagined and I love it, because the good girl…. The nice girl… The girl who dipped her toe into things has now dived right in.
It’s a full-bodied yes or a full-bodied no.
Meeting every single fear.
Asking myself, what would love do?
Who is within me and has been waiting to come out?
Standing in my sovereign free will.
When those feelings of anger arise within me, I remember who I f%cking am and no one… NO ONE dictates, controls or sabotages my life, who I am or my experiences.
The ascension has begun, and it begun with Descension
… I feel like there are the same.
I feel like it’s time.
The gender reconciliation has been unfolding within me and now… now it is spiralling, dancing, merging and transcending together as one.
The phoenix is rising once again.
My soul, fully in my body.
As I remember who I am.
And what I am here to do.
