For a long time now I have been exploring the corridor between the actual truth and my truth.
They are rarely the same and always space in between, it’s the amount of space that varies and we would be naïve to think otherwise.
Something that has just occurred to me is how often we downplay our closeness and the severity to experiences, to people and our feelings in fear of hurting other people.
When we buried our Mother, I vowed in her eulogy that it wasn’t for nothing and that when she passed so did every co-dependent, destructive and dishonouring relationship.
I meant it with every inch of my soul.
There has only been one other time I made such a commitment and that is when I walked away from my violent and abusive past.
So, a vow is not something I take lightly.
“Just because your parents did it, doesn’t mean it is acceptable for you to do it.” Tryan Mowbray.
Real talk right there.
For decades I have been carrying around this weight and not using discernment and boundaries, wondering why I am that person who people can just assume I will do the work for all of us.
No frigging more.
Everyday I do the work to create my reality.
In every moment I accept my reality.
… and right here, right now I vow that I will honour my boundaries and use my discernment and not accept when anyone has crossed that line.
Being a kind person does not mean that people can walk all over you, but unless we have those boundaries and take a stand we can not blame anyone but ourselves.
It doesn’t matter whether or not it is received or understood by anyone else, it’s for you first. Always.
I vow to be unapologetic about who I am, what I stand for, the boundaries I have and expressing myself… not a moment before I have explored that distance between my truth and the actual truth.
The physical abuse stopped many years ago.
The verbal abuse has been filtering through via various channels for too long and it stops now.
If this reality is not in direct alignment with the reality you want to create, do the work within yourself to change it.
Every day in every way I am open to receive more love, abundance and success.
What are your desires? They are a window to your soul.
At some point we must transition into the hero’s journey and into a more honouring journey that I like to call The Hedonistic Way.
All my love,
Nay x
