Dreaming Wide Awake

Dreaming Wide Awake

This ache in my heart

This life I could see

Like I have lived it before.

Calling me in my dreams

White noise in the class

Big dreams in my heart

My mind a thousand miles away…


This spell I have been under my entire life.

No life other than the one in my dreams felt desirable,

Yet the one in my dreams seemed so far away

For someone of my class

My upbringing

Yet, they were more real the bruises on skin

And in the fear in my mind that I had everyday.

Praying I would make it through unscathed, not beaten or broken.


I didn’t know how

I couldn’t see the way

But what I did have were breadcrumbs

Little sparks of curiosity.


Always a showman

An actress

Playing a role

… Even when I didn’t have too

That is when I had to play one the most.


Underneath was an empty girl not really knowing who she was behind the dreams.


Not knowing whom she was when she wasn’t on the battlefield and not in the role of peacekeeper.


Wanting a job in an industry that told me who I had to be.

So I didn’t have to decide that for myself.


Ending up in an industry where I had no lifeline, no floating aids and free falling into the waters so deep they would keep me up at night for years.


Layers upon layers, shedding layers that I didn’t even know I had.

Turns out they didn’t even belong to me in the first place.





Come alive.

We all want to feel alive.

We all crave for the ache in our heart that cracks the fucking world open and you feel alive… and your skin and the love… the fucking love is pouring out of skin.


Once again we are free falling into the unknown depths of our soul and we are dreaming with our eyes open.


Wide open.


And not afraid to be who we are and explore who we are.


And be in an industry that support us in being ourselves.






And unconditionally.


That dream.

That spell I have been under my entire life…

The one that felt so unattainable.

Is this.




Living our dream and connecting on a level that is limitless and guiding others to live their dream.