We can’t go from self-loathing to self-love in one move. Just like the pendulum of life swings we can’t go from hot to cold in one swing, one move.
The next move from where we are now is to be self-aware. What thoughts are floating through our mind and begin feel what is happening within our body, that space of is-ness or being.
People talk about self love and it gets thrown around like it’s this thing that comes naturally to us, yet we live in a world where we have been programmed to look at all the things that are wrong in the world and not the things that are right. Where we have this unhealthy obsession around what beauty is, like it’s always something that is out of reach and outside of ourselves.
Self-love is one piece to the puzzle and it’s the final piece of a ten-piece puzzle. It brings us to the most beautiful doorway we’ve ever seen.
We dance with feeling on top of the world and as magical as Peter Pan to Oliver Twist, an orphan child who doesn’t belong nor fit in. As the pendulum of life swings and we can’t get off we long to be Harry Potter with his invisible cloak… we yearn to watch what’s happening, without being seen.
It was in that moment, my Harry Potter moment when I looked at the world and no one could see me, yet I could see everything and everyone so clearly… What if we are just one consciousness and we are all just different versions of ourselves?
The 10 steps from self loathing to self love
1. Practice self awareness
Breathe into that space and as we ask ourselves “What is my body trying to tell me right now?”
It might be a sudden jolt of fear, uncertainty, anger or pain. It might be a whisper.
As we learn to live in this constant state of being self-aware it is the most brilliant tool to master. When we’re reading something, watching something or talking to someone begin to notice the feeling and what our body is telling us. Anything that is a feeling that isn’t “nice” requires an action that will serves our soul. Walk away, switch off and close the browser because it’s not aligned.
We become whom we surround ourselves with, what we consume and most importantly how we respond.
Become more of who we really are and who we want to be, surround ourselves with the people who make us feel alive, they expand our thinking and bring out the best version of ourselves… they are our people.
Anything else is just a flash card and a reminder to walk away.
This existence brings us to a position where we can now explore, be and embody all other elements of self.
2. Self acceptance
The ability to love all parts of ourselves as we are, even the ones that we have viewed as a flaw or weakness. Will we ever love ourselves enough? At what point, what door, what bridge and what gateway do we see, see our soul and have everything the perfect extension and reflection of that?
It’s in that space of is-ness that we bleed, as our body cries and mind screams as it echo’s through our body about all things we’re not doing and should be doing.
Trust that everything we do nourishes our mind, body and spirit. Do whatever brings us joy, our soul never questions that or deems it as bad. Joy is a priceless gift we can give ourselves.
As the circle of life fills our veins trust that the relationship we have with other people or other “things” might be slightly skew-whiff because the energy that lies underneath it is really saying “I don’t love myself.” We are love in that very moment. Let the friction, questions, labels, doubt and torturous thoughts be released and transmuted. Stop searching, looking and trying to find a better way, trust that we are a divine child and as a divine child, know that our energy is vast, our spirit is infinite and we everything all at once and nothing at the same time.
3. Self expression
The freedom to speak our truth as we see it, at that time and that is all we can ever do. It comes from a place of love, honour and respect. It’s really about us showing up and stepping into our power and trusting that the universe speaks through us. There is something liberating about surrendering all of who we are, owning those gifts and voice we often suppress.
4. Self esteem
Those ever so small moments when we abuse ourselves by feeling shame, guilt or not accepting who we are- as we are. Remembering to give to us in all those moments, switch up the frequency and feel into a more loving way.
5. Self care
Is the “doing”, all the actions and things we can do to remind ourselves “If I want to be free, I need to be me.”
Those small acts have the biggest impact, what are things that we can do to shift or focus? Go for run, a walk in nature, do a little dance or smell a flower and feel the wind on our face…
6. Self forgiveness
Is that beautiful promise and knowing that we are exactly where we’re meant to be and in this very moment everything has been for a reason. We haven’t made one wrong decision, even the “bad” decisions were made for the right reasons, so we can breathe into that and forgive ourselves.
7. Self trust
That will bring us to a place of absolute trust and faith that we are divinely supported at all times. Have faith in ourselves and all that is. The perception and outlook around experiences gives us a chance to show more trust and a seamless way to live.
8. Self respect
At this moment we have so much love for self that we will not give up our power, freedom, love, dance, fight or anything that isn’t aligned to our highest good.
9. Self pleasure
That desire that we can breathe into makes us feel unstoppable, the passion is alive, running through us and we are in our divine truth our divine power and now we can feel and express ourselves in a way that makes the Earth move.
10. Self love
Only now can we do this, each piece is a vital piece to the puzzle and oh it feels good here. Like home, a place where we can be free and embrace all of who we are, when we love wholeheartedly. Breathe into this space, because it is so extensive and it is all ours. So beautiful.
When we do discover and embrace self love, all the elements of self bring us to the most expansive place there is; light and free where the universe runs freely through us at all times in the most seamless, raw, real and vulnerable way.
We can do anything here.
