Me, Love And What I Now Know


I have been an advocate and a voice for domestic violence now for years. In past media interviews I have always said, “I never knew what love looked like.”

This week there has been thoughts running through my mind around love, thinking about my journey I realized a few things.

  1. The vital element and key turning point in my life was saying “No more.” And realising I am worthy of love.
  1. Once I made the decision I was proud of the strength and the bravery it took to walk out the door after years of violence and abuse.
  1. With that feeling of accomplishment and starting over both financially and emotionally I had a sense that everything is going to be OK. (albeit a little hard some days)
  1. I started to love myself in a way that I had never loved myself before; it was a belief in myself. Taking action towards my dreams made me made feel good about myself. It gave me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
  1. It wasn’t until I actually stopped and thought about the kind of love I wanted and kind of life I wanted did it come in fruition.

It is the perception we have around love that determines what we create.

Think about this…

How often were you told growing up “I will love you if….”

Love, up until now has been conditional, true love for yourself and others in unconditional.

– When you give from a space of unlimited love…

– When you serve others from a space of unlimited love…

– When you give and serve yourself from a space of unlimited and unconditional love…


You feel alive.

There is so much joy and happiness that is available to us that is unlimited. All you need to do is tap into it.

How do you tap into love and happiness?

  1. Start to do little things that create love within yourself, for example don’t use negative thoughts or words to describe yourself. When you look in the mirror think nice things.
  2. Make a choice and commit to appreciating exactly where you are now.
  3. Notice everything amazing you have and everything you have accomplished. Feel the gratitude.
  4. Be aware of when something unpleasant pops into your mind and reach for a better thought.
  5. Don’t focus on what you don’t have, focus on what you do have.
  6. Surround yourself with people who love and support you, for you.
  7. Let go of old thoughts and feelings that no longer serve you.
  8. Do small things everyday that make you and your loved ones feel good.
  9. Know that it’s OK to feel bad sometimes; we should honour it and let it pass.
  10. Just listen, listen to gut, your heart, to others, to the birds. It’s amazing the feeling you get when you allow yourself to be…


In the richness of now we don’t yearn for anything.


Having an unconditional relationship with your partner…

1. There is always conflict in love and that’s OK, we need it. Listen, respect and talk through the issue.

2. Your relationship is really like a roll-a-coaster, it’s filled with ups and downs. The trick is to notice when you’re not feeling connected and take time out to reconnect.

3. Communication is key- Life is busy and it isn’t going to slow down so take time to listen to each other. It doesn’t even need to be worded sometimes, a hug or kiss can work wonders sometimes. (Except when she is talking, then is annoying, then you must listen)

4. Support comes in many facets, have a conversation with your partner about how you need them to support you. You may think you are supporting them, but it may not be in the way they need.

5. Have fun, have fun together, have fun alone and have fun with the kids. We all need time out to hang with our friends, we need kid free time and we need time as a family.


Life is good, make a choice and simply be…



 Image by Krystle Smith